My Constant

I’m freaking out over here. I looked at last year’s race results from the Georgia Jewel 100…and then I looked at the year before that. I’m toast. The cutoff time is 32 hours this year, which means that only one woman from 2015 and one from 2014 would have made it under the time limit. Am I nuts? What on earth makes me think I can finish in time? Hyperventilating…What if I don’t make it? What if I’m just too slow? Am I going to be chasing cut off times all day (and night, and day)?

All of these thoughts are swirling through my brain. I verbalized these concerns, and more, to my ever supportive husband, and his response reinforced to me that the Lord really and truly blessed me with someone who compliments my crazy. He said, “I will be out there the entire time, and I’m not going anywhere until you pass through my aid station. Your race is on public trails, and you keep going until you’re done. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you.” I don’t think he even realizes how calming he is to me. He has this way of bringing my anxiety down about five notches with a mere sentence.

I know that my running long distances is not his most favorite thing in the universe. I love trails, and I’m usually alone, and I have a (very minor and benign) heart condition…you get the idea. It’s a perfectly blended cocktail of worry and stress for a husband. Yet he supports and encourages me anyway. He could easily protest and reason, but instead he offers safety suggestions, and if he does speak up, I’m probably planning to do something really stupid, and I need to listen to what he is saying. Conversely, he pushes me and suggests difficult workouts to try that I may not normally attempt. When he does, it almost feels like a challenge, and anyone that knows me knows I’m not one to back down from a challenge…and he knows me better than anyone.

Even though he doesn’t have the same love for long distance running that I have, he relates to me, because he loves to hike, cycle, and go backpacking. He loves to push himself too, just in slightly different ways. He loves to be out in nature, in solitude, be it hunting in the snow, or camping under the stars in a hammock. He honestly gets me, and wants to see me happy and living life to the absolute maximum, because his heart is wild, just like mine. 

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