The Joy, the Bear, and the Pitiful

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These are the faces of my runs…I either feel like I’m being mauled by a bear, like I’m in a state of pure joy, or I’m feeling completely and utterly sorry for myself. It’s odd how feelings (both physical as well as actual emotions) are amplified during the workout. Sometimes I have to actually say to myself, “stop being so dramatic. You aren’t literally dying right now.” Yet in that moment, whatever is “ailing” me can feel so extreme that I’m contemplating turning around and “hobbling” home with a crutch that I fashioned out of a downed tree branch. Fortunately I’ve been doing this running thing long enough to know that most of what I think and feel on a run is not rooted in reality. So, what I do instead is distract myself with thoughts of what I will eat for lunch, or what animal shapes the clouds are making…you get the idea. Normally this is enough to snap me out of my self-pity or death-hobble and before I know it I’m back in a rhythm again. Of course, there are also those days where everything clicks and I just have that flow feeling from the first step…I had one run like that this week, and it motivated me for the whole week.

This week I ended up with 40 miles, and now I’ll chop it down in prep for my race on Saturday (that I don’t want to talk about because I might start panicking.) Overall, it was a good week, although I had to kick myself onto the road a couple of the days. Once I got out there I was OK, and ended up having some strong paces despite low motivation to start, at times. Thinking about the ladies of Bassin Caiman really helps to motivate me from day to day and keep my excuse-meter from going into overdrive. I’m looking forward to this week of preparation for my race Saturday, and hoping that the logistics will keep me grounded and out of freak-out mode. Say a prayer for me…

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